10 Hilarious Drinking Slogans To Put On Your New Koozie

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Posted: 31 May 2018

There’s no denying it: there are some ridiculously funny drinking slogans out there.

Ever had a night out with friends that created a ton of drinking-related inside jokes? Then you know what we’re talking about.

Or maybe you’re planning a bachelor or bachelorette party? Chilling with Dad on Father’s Day? Any old occasion to drink in the near future?

We’re right there with you, considering all the ways custom-made Koozies can keep things cool; chill; cozy – you get the idea.

Read on for some of the most hilarious quotes and ideas about imbibing we could find. We pulled from the internet, movies, books, and more. Don’t drink while reading. You may laugh until beer comes out of your nose.

1. The brutally-honest Winston Churchill.

“A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober, but you will still be ugly.”

Ouch. That was rough.

This phrase might be a little too big to fit on your custom-printed Koozies – or you need a bigger beer!

And besides, an awesome slogan doesn’t need to be small: it needs to be clear and creative. Churchill checked both of those boxes with this one.

2. Continuing with Bukowski.

“‘What? You mean you’d dare drink right after getting out of jail for intoxication?’ ‘That’s when you need a drink the most.'”

This Charles Bukowski quote came from his second novel, Factotum, which Harper Collins calls a beer-soaked, delicious time. He knew what he was talking about from the very beginning of his (drinking) career.

3. What did Hemingway say?

This author – quite the interesting guy himself, Ernest Hemingway – dabbled in drinking and wasn’t ashamed to admit it.

“I drink to make other people more interesting.”

Think him and Bukowski would’ve been drinking buddies? We do.

4. Another Hemingway motto.

“This beer is good for you. This is draft beer. Stick with the beer. Let’s go and beat this guy up and come back and drink some more beer.”

5. And another.

“A man who eats dessert is not drinking enough.”

Hemingway had no qualms writing about his love of beer. He claimed that since he was fifteen years old, it had given him much pleasure.

6. Even Mark Twain partook.

“Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.”

7. Edgar Allan Poe wants you to drink ales.

“Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today.”

8. What time is it?

What does it matter? “I work until beer o’clock.”

We can all agree with this hilariously true drinking phrase by author Stephen King, right?

9. Are you good people?

“Good people drink good beer.”

Short and sweet by Hunter S. Thompson. Drink local craft beer out of this Koozie and make him proud!

10. Waxing poetic.

“Everyone who drinks is not a poet. Some of us drink because we’re not poets.”

This hilarious – and dare we say lyrical – quote in the movie Arthur is spoken by English actor Dudley Moore, a non-poet.

Got Any More Drinking Slogans?

Then let us know!

Whether you’re camping, hanging at home, arranging a fun outing – you name it – a beer is the universal language of chill.

Ever seen Wedding Crashers? Or read a Bukowski poem? Then you know how quotable and real these guys can be. If you’re funny and honest, you might make the next top-10 list of funniest drinking slogans out there.

And when you come up with the perfect one, put it on a Koozie. Trust us. Beer tastes better when it’s coming out of a custom sleeve.

It’s science: Koozies keep your beer cooler!

Got any mantras of your own? Submit them here!


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